Resentment & Forgiveness
In Chapters 5 to 7 of Matthew’s Gospels we have what is widely referred to as Jesus’s “Sermon on the Mount”. In this sermon Jesus taught the way a follower – a Christian – should aim to live. What He taught was revolutionary and it is no wonder that at the end of it, it is said
the people were astonished at His teaching, for He taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes. (Chapter 7:28, 29)
The Greek word which is translated as “astonished” is a word which carries the meaning of being “struck” in a really powerful way. What the people had been listening to struck them with a mighty force. Jesus had just said things they had never heard before. It was like a clap of thunder.
One of the many reasons why what Jesus had said had such an impact on the people was what He had taught concerning Forgiveness.
We can easily overlook the fact, or not know, that at that time the Old Testament maxim, of
as it has been done to you so you have a right to do to the offender
was still a governing principle in the way people lived their lives. The law was,
life for life, eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, burn for burn, wound for wound, stripe for stripe.” (Exodus 21:23-26).
It was primitive justice, to say the least. And it embodies, obviously, a brutal way of dealing with bad behaviour and offending actions.
Old Testament times were not times renowned for pity and compassion. Far from it. And for this reason there are people today who are quite uncomfortable reading parts of the Old Testament where the shedding of blood, revenge killings and the absolute slaughter of non-Jews were taken to be wholly acceptable and the way it needed to be.
Jesus was wholly educated in Old Testament Scriptures and was totally aware of such teaching. But, hallmark and distinguishing feature of the Jewish Church, then failing in its role and purpose, as they were, these Old Testament teachings would not be the hallmark of the Christian Church He had begun to establish.
I invite you to again listen to some of the things He taught. Again,
You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I (Jesus) tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. You have heard that it was said ‘You shall love your neighbour and hate your enemy’. But I (Jesus) say to you, love your enemies bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you and persecute you, that you be the sons of your father in heaven. (Matthew Chapter 5: verses 39 & 39 and 41 & 42).
Can you picture in your mind the disciples of Jesus and people more generally sitting there listening to Jesus, what must have been going through their minds?
This was extraordinary. Jesus was declaring the end of the old “revenge” mentality. But what He said didn’t end there. He went on to challenge His listeners about the need to forgive. No wonder they were astonished. And all must have wondered about how radically different this new teaching was.
Within what we refer to as “The Lord’s Prayer”, also part of His great sermon, Jesus incorporated words about forgiveness,
And forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors.
And, of all the different things asked for in the Lord’s Prayer, it was this one, about forgiveness, that Jesus singled out for further comment.
For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, nether will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6: verses 12, 14, & 15)
Later in Jesus’s ministry Peter came to Him and said,
Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times? But Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. (Matthew 18:21, 22).
Peter and the other disciples must have been stunned by this answer. But it is an answer which conveys to us Jesus’s awareness of how difficult we find it to forgive.
Our natural and unregenerate reaction to an offence is hurt and resentment and, in many cases it triggers a desire for revenge. If someone has been unfair and hurtful evil spirits awaken thoughts within us as to how we can be unfair and hurtful in retaliation.
That’s the lower self within us talking. But the higher self, now awakened by angelic spirits, wants us to focus on forgiveness. And so we are torn between the two courses of action. Do we look for an opportunity to do to another person what, unjustly, unfairly, hurtfully, and maybe deceitfully they have done to us? Or do we choose what seems the much harder alternative, to forgive that person?
But now comes the question, What is forgiveness?
And this is where, in answer to the question, it is easy to get it wrong.
Some people urge that forgiveness is forgetting. But No, the teaching in the Writings makes it clear that everything that happens in our lives is impressed on our memory and whilst the memory of an incident may fade it can be instantly reawakened, in certain circumstances.
It is also urged that forgiveness depends on an apology from the offender. But this is to say that it is acceptable to harbour resentment until such an apology is offered, if it ever is. And if an apology isn’t forthcoming then the person against whom the offence was committed lives with their resentment, eating away at them within. They make themselves a victim.
In New Testament Greek the word which is translated “forgive” is a word which means “to pardon”, “to leave behind”, “to let go”. But how do we do this? And why, many times, is it so difficult to do this?
Firstly, our natural and unregenerate, tendency is, unfortunately, to jump to a judgement about the other person. We fail to separate the deed from the doer. We read into the offence something sinister and intended, when yet it may have nothing sinister within it and have never been intended. This is the same as saying to ourselves, ‘That was a really bad thing you did so, therefore, you are a very bad person.”
Secondly, we can be much too ready to withhold mercy. Jesus said, “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.” (Matthew 5:7). We allow ourselves to rush into a reaction when it would be far better to withhold any reaction or comment, giving ourselves the opportunity to bring to mind that the offender may have been tired, or be under pressure, or have sickness at home, or maybe had an accident on the way to work. Clearly, and from the teaching in the Writings, it is a much more preferable path to follow, to excuse the errors and falsities in others (Secrets of Heaven 1079); even going so far as putting a good interpretation on what has been said or done. (Secrets of Heaven 1085). At least for the moment.
This doesn’t mean dismissing any offence as if it hadn’t mattered. But it does mean waiting for an opportunity, when emotions have cooled down, to clarify with the offending person what you found to be unfair and hurtful. (again, Secrets of Heaven 1079)
There is a lovely passage in the Writings about “being alerted by the Divine” and how this leads to “a feeling of compassion being aroused”. (Secrets of Heaven 6737). If we are to be “alerted by the Divine” then it is just so important to hand challenging episodes of hurt and dismay caused by others to the Lord. Prayer is so important here.
Thirdly, it is important that we keep in mind how inclined we are, especially when we have been hurt or offended, to exaggerate the faults and shortcomings of others. Also part of the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye.” (Matthew 7:3)
Fourthly, we cannot forgive from ourselves. Forgiveness is a gift from the Lord which flows down into us as we make room to receive it. As we have seen, resentment is awakened in us by evil spirits while forgiveness comes to us from the Lord through the angelic spirits unceasingly present with us.
The teaching in the Writings is that “Forgiving is regarding someone not from the point of view of evil but from the point of view of good.” (Secrets of Heaven 7697). Now, what this calls for from us is to engage in a process which, eventually, enables us to think of that person who has wronged us, and of the event (what they said or did) from a very different perspective.
- It calls for us to relinquish, with the Lord’s help, our hurt, or our embarrassment or our anger or our disappointment.
- It also calls for us to address the issue; the hurt; the unfairness; with the other person, not judgmentally but from the point of view of how healing can take place.
- And it calls on us to invite the Lord to give us compassion and a genuine readiness to move
Notice, this is a process. If the hurt has been very deep, it will take time. But it is what the Lord commands and every command He gave we need to strive to obey. If we can’t forgive, then we leave a block in place, and the Lord cannot forgive us.
Years ago I listened to an interview with the author of a book titled, “Secrets of the Red Lantern”, Pauline Win. Mrs Win had arrived in Australia as a five year old refugee from Vietnam, and in her book she wrote – amongst other things – of her father’s brutality and explosive temper, of his violence and unrelenting demands and expectations of his children.
While once resenting him, and bitter towards him, she had come to see him differently, not from evil any more but from good. She could see it all, now, in the context of Confucian philosophy, the patriarchal family structure, her father’s own upbringing (which she had come to learn about), all that it meant to be refugees in a foreign country, his need for his children to succeed, etc.
Yes, it was a process she had worked through, no longer regarding him from the point of view of evil but – now – from g ood. If, and when, we are struggling to forgive someone, let us not underestimate what the Lord promises.
Prove me now in this, says the LORD of hosts, If I will not open for you the windows ofheaven and pour out for you such a blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it. (Malachi 3: 10).
We need to ask ourselves these questions:
- Who are we to withhold forgiveness when we are so readily forgiven by the Lord?
- Who are we to withhold forgiveness when we ourselves make countless mistakes and commit offenses against other people, almost certainly more than we realize?
- Do we wish to make ourselves a victim of our very own resentment towards another person?
This is what people do who refuse to forgive and continue to harbour resentment. The reality is of friendships broken because of unforgiveness; of families torn apart because of unforgiveness; of resentments that trickle down generations.
It doesn’t have to be like this. Jesus said,
A new Commandment I give to you, that you love one another, as I have loved you, that you love one another. (John 13:34)
It is an incredible example He gave us. The love which energized Jesus was a love to bring people to a better place, spiritually. And that remains the focus of His love today. In all our dealings with one another, and following this sublime example, we need to aim, also, at bringing people to a better place, spiritually. And we are not going to do this by instant, angry reactions or by giving way to resentment.
We are to resist the promptings of our unregenerate proprium. We are, indeed, to turn the other cheek, love our enemies, bless those who curse us, and do good to those who (as it may seem) hate us.
Remember: it is a command to love one another. And by extrapolation it is a command to forgive people who offend, hurt, embarrass or betray us. And what the Lord commands is not to be set aside, as if we know better. It is almost certain that we have all known times when we haven’t especially wanted to obey something that the Lord commands. And this is where self-compulsion is required.
We may not feel like extending forgiveness, but we need to compel ourselves to do what the Lord commands. His commands are not a choice! They are an obligation. Next time we are hurt or offended by someone, let us ask ourselves,
How can I handle this situation in such a way as to make it possible for heaven to enter in and for the door against hell to be kept closed?
Ephesians 4:32
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.
Amen
Readings:
Genesis 45:1-8
Joseph Revealed to His Brothers
Then Joseph could not restrain himself before all those who stood by him, and he cried out, “Make everyone go out from me!” So no one stood with him while Joseph made himself known to his brothers. And he wept aloud, and the Egyptians and the house of Pharaoh heard it.
Then Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph; does my father still live?” But his brothers could not answer him, for they were dismayed in his presence. 4And Joseph said to his brothers, “Please come near to me.” So they came near. Then he said: “I am Joseph your brother, whom you sold into Egypt. But now, do not therefore be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life. 6For these two years the famine has been in the land, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting.
And God sent me before you to preserve a posterity for you in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. 8So now it was not you who sent me here, but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt.
John 8:1-12
The Lord’s forgiveness of the woman taken in But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. 2Now early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him; and He sat down and taught them. 3Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said to Him,
Teacher, this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now Moses, in the law, commanded us that such should be stoned. But what do You say?
This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, as though He did not hear. So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” 8And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. 9Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?”
She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”
Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying,
I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.
Secrets of Heaven 904:2
The presence of the Lord is predicated according to the state of love toward the neighbor and of faith in which the man is. In love toward the neighbor the Lord is present, because He is in all good; but not so much in faith, so called, without love.
Faith without love and charity is a separated or disjoined thing. Wherever there is conjunction there must be a conjoining medium, which is nothing else than love and charity, as must be evident to all from the fact that the Lord is merciful to everyone, and loves everyone, and wills to make everyone happy to eternity.
He therefore who is not in such love that he is merciful to others, loves them, and wills to make them happy, cannot be conjoined with the Lord, because he is unlike Him and not at all in His image. To look to the Lord by faith, as they say, and at the same time to hate the neighbor, is not only to stand afar off, but is also to have the abyss of hell between themselves and the Lord, into which they would fall if they should approach nearer, for hatred to the neighbor is that infernal abyss which is between.
Revelation 22:2
In the middle of the street of it (the New Jerusalem), and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve types of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.
It is something that surprises new readers of the Writings that of the sixty-six books of the Protestant Bible only thirty-four are singled out as being actual books of the Word. In the Arcana Caelestia, paragraph 10325, we read, “The books of the Word are all those which have the internal sense.
Books which do not have it are not the Word.” In the Old Testament this means that the books of Ruth, 1 and 2 Chronicles, Ezra, Nehemiah, Esther, Job, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes and Song of Solomon, are not part of the Word. And in the New Testament it means that The acts of the Apostles, and the Epistles of Paul, Peter, James, John and Jude, also, are not part of the Word. From the Old Testament and from the New Testament it means a total of just thirty-four books of the Word.
What we need to remember here, first of all, is the definition of what qualifies as a book of the Word, these being those that have an internal sense. And, not just an internal sense but a continuous internal sense. Swedenborg was given to write of the book of Job and of Song of Solomon as containing many correspondences, or deeper meanings. So, too Proverbs. But the internal, or deeper, meanings in those books are not continuous. And by “continuous” what is meant is one thing linked to what follows in a long series, as we shall see.
Please don’t think that the teaching in the Writings plays down the value and importance of the books of the Bible which do not have a continuous internal sense. They are accepted as books of the Bible in the same way they are accepted as books of the Bible by Christians everywhere. And Swedenborg wrote of them as being “useful books for the Church”.
The fact that just thirty-four books of the sixty six books of the Protestant Bible are single out as being, specifically, the Word of God, should not really trouble us.
It was always the way, in Old Testament times, that “The Law and the Prophets” were singled out as having a greater significance than the other books of the Old Testament. “The Law” means the first five books of the Bible, and “The Prophets” includes the books of Samuel, Kings, and all the books spoken through the prophets, from Isaiah onwards.
And Jesus affirmed this. At the very beginning of His public ministry He reassured the people listening to Him,
Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfil. (Matthew 5:17).
On the afternoon of His resurrection and speaking with the two disciples who were returning from Jerusalem to their home in the village of Emmaus, they still not recognizing Him,
Beginning at Moses and all the prophets, He expounded to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning Himself.” (Luke 24:27).
“All the Scriptures” here means the Law and the Prophets and the Psalms. And only these.
Speaking to the disciples, now the evening of the day of His resurrection, Jesus said to them,
These are the words which I spoke to you while I was with you, that all things must be fulfilled which were written in the law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms concerning me.” (Luke 24:44).
Do you notice how “The Law”, “The Prophets” and “The Psalms” are singled out here as having special significance?
The question arises, then, how we are to regard and use the books of the Bible which are not singled out as books of the Word having a continuous internal sense?
I hope it helps to think of it this way.
The designated thirty four books of the Word are – very clearly –not just the words of God that come through to us via Moses and the prophets. They are truth in itself, as given to us by God. The other books of the Bible both in the Old Testament and in the New Testament, are explanations of that truth given to us directly by God. What these other books do is show us ways that truth has been applied to different situations when they were first written and how they apply to our situations, and our needs, today.
Let us pause for a moment to see this point with regard to the New Testament.
They are twenty-seven books of the New Testament, only five of which are designated as being the Word. These five are the four Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, and the Book of Revelation. And why the book of Revelation? Because, again, actual messages In the four Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, we have the very words of God, the truth from His mouth. What we have in the Epistles are beautiful, memorable, and sometimes hard-hitting applications of that truth to our daily lives.
It needs to be noted that “there are indications that the apostle Paul thought his letters were not to be taken as Gospel.”
see https://hermeneutics.stackexchange.com
for example, 1 Corinthians 7:12, where he writes, To the rest I, not the Lord., say…..”. So, the apostle is saying, in effect, ‘What I am writing at this point is from me, not from the Lord.’
Nevertheless, Paul did so much to interpret the Word of God and show early Christians, and of course Christians to this very day, the different ways in which the Word of God applies to our lives and in the different circumstances we find ourselves in.
Just think for a moment of what he wrote in the priority of love in 1 Corinthians 13: verses 1 to 13:
Love suffers long and is kind, love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things…..And now abide faith, hope and love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
Surely this was the Lord in His Holy Spirit, inspiring these wonderful words.
The apostle Paul also shared with us his inner struggles which were struggles, surely, you and I can identify with. ”For what I am doing I do not understand”, he wrote, “for what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do.” (Romans 7:15, etc)
And, amongst my personal favorites things Paul wrote:
Finally, brethren,mwhatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things.
So, now, to focus, specifically, on those thirty four books which are designated as being books of the Word of God, because they enfold within them a continuous internal sense.
Whilst certain books of the Bible, as we have seen, are not counted amongst these, yet we are still dealing with a progression from Genesis right through to the Book of Revelation.
It is fascinating that in the very beginning of the book of Genesis we read of the Garden of Eden, a place of beauty and peace and connection with God. And right at the end of the Book of Revelation is described the holy city, new Jerusalem, descending from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband. It, too, the holy city, is also pictured to us as a place of great beauty, peacefulness and connection with God. The Word of God begins with a most memorable vision of closeness to God and ends with another most memorable picture of closeness to God.
Even what is described as the central feature of the Garden of Eden - the tree of life - is also the central feature With regard to the inner meaning, or meanings, of the Word of God Swedenborg wrote of it as holding up to us the progression of the human race, through five great spiritual ages. The human race began, in most ancient times, in a beautiful closeness to God, the whole of people’s lives then centred around The Tree of Life. In the spiritual sense The tree of life means a perception that all our life is derived from God and that He is the Centre around which everything else revolves. “And, as love and wisdom, and charity and faith, or good and truth, make the life of God in man, these are signified by “the Tree of life”. (See “Conjugial Love” 135)
People in most ancient times possessed such perception. But over many generations, perhaps even thousands of years, they came to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, meaning centering life around themselves and thinking they could decide what was true and good. And so, by their willfulness, withdrew from that state of beauty, peace and connection with God. But, here is the promise of the Word, it will one day be restored again, and the Tree of life will, again, be at the centre of everything.
This progression of the human race, over the ages, has its parallel in the progression of stages, such as the Lord would have each and everyone of us pass through.
Tiny children begin life in a state of exquisite beauty, peacefulness,unaware even of having an identity. But they leave this stage and enter into self-assertion and wilful choices; and, growing up into adulthood, into the ups and downs of life, times of being on the mountains and times of being in the valleys, frequently faced with the challenges of spiritual enemies, times of progress and backsliding, the tree of life disappears from view. And it remains out of sight until they (once tiny children, now adults ) come into a serious and committed relationship with the Lord and seek His help to repent, reform, and become regenerate (re-born) people.
All the while, and if we remain committed to this spiritual journey, this will bring us to the holy city, new Jerusalem where, once again, the tree of life will be in the midst, at the centre of everything and around which all of life will revolve. “To him who overcomes”, the Lord promised through the apostle John, “I will give to eat from the Tree of life, which is in the midst of the Paradise of God.” (Revelation 2:7).
And,
Blessed are they who do His commandments, that they may have the right to the tree of life, and may enter through the gates into the city. (Revelation 22:14)
The way back to our re-discovery of the tree of life is through the Word. And as, indeed, we “do His commandments” we will see the tree of life covered in green leaves which, in the spiritual sense are “rational truths by which we who are in evils and falsities are led to think soundly, and becomingly.” (Apocalypse Revealed 936).
And it will bear “twelve types of fruit”,
meaning it will bless our lives abundantly, and as is appropriate for every state, challenge and circumstance of our lives.
Such is the promise when, once again, and as the result of becoming re-born people, now children of God, the tree of life is restored to the very centre of our love, attention, and of all that we think and say and plan and do.
In the middle of the street of it (the new Jerusalem), and on either side of the river, was the tree of life, which bore twelve types of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree were for the healing of the nations.
Amen
Readings:
Arcana Caelestia 2187.
The Tree of life is the celestial itself, and in the highest sense it is the Lord Himself since He is the source of everything celestial, that is, of all love and charity. Thus ‘eating from the tree of life’ is the same as feeding on the Lord; and ‘feeding on the Lord’ is being endowed with love and charity, thus with those things that belong to heavenly life.
Coronis 27:3.
Owing to the correspondence of a garden with the Church, it comes to pass that everywhere in the heavens gardens appear, producing leaves., flowers and fruits according to the states of the Church with the angels. And it has been told me that in some of the gardens there, trees of life are seen in the middle parts, and trees of the knowledge of good and evil in the boundaries, as a sign that they (the angels) are in free determination in spiritual things.